Warriors Insanity Hour Ep. 3: The Election.
Firestar gathers the Clans in a very large clearing. Firestar: I have something very special to show everyone. Tallstar: Is it a picnic? Because I'm starving. *Eats kit.* Firestar: Keep dreaming, old man! It's an election! Random Kit: What's an election? Firestar: It's a Twoleg thing where people vote for leaders. Blackstar: We already have leaders! Firestar: Yes, but I'm better than all of you. So we're going to vote on who leads all the Clans. Later... Firestar: Well, we set up the booths. Now we tell why we should lead. Tigerstar: I have a million reasons. 1. Kill Firestar. 2. Kill Firestar. 3. Get a manicure. Firestar: What? Cats can only get peticures, and get back to He- Ferncloud: There are kits here! Firestar: *Pushes off cliff.* Ferncloud: Wait! I haven't made enough kits yeeeeeeeet. *Mushroom cloud.* Dustpelt: Maybe we should have named her Mushroomcloud. Firestar: Oooookay, moving on. Who's next? Darkstar: Me! Okay, I think we shoul- Hey! I haven't even started, Firestar. Put your middle claw down! Anyway, we should combine our Clans. We won't fight, mating in other Clans will no longer be illegal, and I'll be the leader! Everyone's happy! Firestar: Communist! Darkstar: Shut up! I have the right to speak! Firestar: *Pushes off cliff.* That was fun. Anyway, moving on. *Steps up.* I think we should blow stuff up. Everyone: Huzzah! Kit: Wouldn't that hurt the econo- Firestar: UNACCEPTABLE! *Presses red button from Warriors Can Do Stuff Too!* Tallstar: You love that thing, don't you? Firestar: You know the answer to that by now. Tallstar: I'll sit in a corner and stare at my paws for a bit. Firestar: Wait! That's the last kit I'll abuse! Just wait! Tallstar: Fine. But I have a Twoleg to torture some mor- Firestar: WHAT?! Tallstar: I SAID, I have a Tw- Firestar: I heard you, I just wanted to drive you crazy. Tallstar: DONE AND DONE! *Twitches eyes, sucks thumb.* Firestar: Okay, lets get on with it. Crookedstar: Okay, I'll go. *Smokes crack, looks like a total disaster.* Firestar: You look like you got ran over by a semi truck! Crookedstar: I tried tobacco, but it fell out of my crooked jaw. Firestar: I tried weed, but then I remembered I was against destroying plants, and protested against myself. *Darkstar has climbed back up the cliff.* Darkstar: HEY! The only place that stuff grows is on my border! Firestar: I put the sign in ThunderClan, and everything grew just find. Crookedstar: Really? Firestar: Well, it took lots of fertilizer... Crookedstar: MOVING ON. My plan is to flood everyone with the power of water, and only RiverClan will survive! Tallstar: I wouldn't. I tried to do that with the power of wind, but ended up making a tornado right next to me, and I went flying all the way to StarClan. Firestar: So that's why you look like fox dung? That would give the best of us *Points to self.* a bad hair day! Tallstar: No. My current state is this because while I was in StarClan, Bluefur ate all of the food, and the only thing there was Kraft american cheese! *Everyone gasps.* Firestar: Good thing I pushed her into that river. *Everyone gasps x2.* Firestar: Just kidding! *Everyone gives a sigh of relief.* Firestar: I gave a dog five Firestar bucks, good for buying black market sticks from Jayfeather's Sticks. Remember, if you can't beat them, beat them with a stick! So I guess you can say that I killed her through someone. *Everyone faints.* Crookedstar: Anyway, back to business. *Makes a pentagram, and chants an ancient language into the circle. All the water in the area forms into a giant golem of water.* Kill them, my minion! *Minion kills Crookedstar. * Darkstar: I know what to do! Firestar: Decide what type of flowers should be by our graves? Those elders have bad taste. Darkstar: No. Firestar: Kill it with black market sticks? Darkstar: NO, IDIOT. Fight it! *Pokemon battle begins!* Tallstar's turn! Tallstar uses Cheap Shot! *Tallstar kicks the monster between the legs. The monster isn't a living creature. No effect.* Darkstar's turn! Darkstar uses Dark Claw! *It does 1 damage. He obviously hasn't been working out lately.* Firestar's turn! Firestar uses Cowardice! It's super effective (For him.) ! Firestar has fled from battle! It's Randy's the Legitimate Scary Water Monster's turn! *Randy uses fire shot (What you thought water?) !* It's super effective! Everyone dies! HOORAY! Jayfeather: NOT SO FAST! *Hits monster with black market stick!* It's super effective! 100000000 damage is done! Jayfeather wins! Tallstar: I still haven't gone. *Brushes fire off of pelt.* Okay, I think we should all stay the way we are! We're all beautiful! Except for you, Yellowfang. I know you're watching from up there! *Everyone cheers.* Firestar: I guess you win, man. Nice job! Announcer: So, everyone lives crappily after ever, walking into the sunset. Don't worry. Everyone will hate each other by the nexy day, and, yes, Firestar is still a jerk! Until next time! PEACE OUT! FIN. Category:Wafflez' Spoofs